CNR Emeritus Professor Shares His Expertise on Grieving Small Losses of the Pandemic

On the one-year anniversary of the U.S. lockdown as the COVID-19 pandemic began raging, an article in the New York Times about unacknowledged grief turned a spotlight on Dr. Kenneth J. Doka, a bereavement expert who began studying the topic while teaching graduate students at the College of New Rochelle.

In the March 15, 2021 Times article, “It’s OK to Grieve for the Small Losses of a Lost Year,” columnist Tara Parker-Pope wrote, “In the hierarchy of human suffering during the pandemic, a canceled prom, a lost vacation or missing out on seeing a child’s first steps may not sound like much, but mental health experts say that all loss needs to be acknowledged and grieved.”

The term “disenfranchised grief” was coined in the 1980s by Dr. Doka, Professor Emeritus at CNR and the author of dozens of books about grief and mourning. It refers to small life losses that, because they don’t involve a death, seem unworthy of mention. “A constant refrain is, ‘I don’t have a right to grieve,’” said Doka.

Eileen Niedzwiecki CNR SAS ’72, Director of CNR Development at Mercy College and a former colleague of Dr. Doka’s, described him as “an amazing guy.  His impact is immeasurable.  Ken Doka has comforted and healed millions of grieving people throughout his career.”

An ordained Lutheran minister and world-renowned keynote speaker, Doka serves as Senior Consultant to the Hospice Foundation of America. His latest book, Grief Is a Journey, offers a variety of self-help strategies for coping with grief.